Little Foster Home of Horrors
by animeninjaNIPPON
Summary: It was a bright, beautiful, orangehued day in a random location somewhere on Earth...until Zim, Dib, and the others ended up in foster care for reasons no one can explain!


By animeninjaNIPPON

This is actually the first Invader Zim fanfiction I ever wrote – just not the first one I published. There is no romance in this, but that's what my other stories are for, I guess.

DISCLAIMER: Aww, you know. I don't own IZ, I'm not Jhonen Vasquez, and I can't guarantee that everyone is entirely in character all the time (although I try).

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It was a bright, beautiful, orange-hued day in a random location somewhere on Earth. All the kids played happily with one another, completely oblivious to the "evil" that lurked beyond the door of the house with the "I ♥ Earth" banner in the front yard…

Deep within the depths of this house sat Zim, an Invader from the planet Irk. On this particular day he was consulting the Irken elders, the Tallest.

"And that," Zim concluded, is my new plan for destroying EARRRTH!" He seemed oblivious to the snickering on the other side of the computer-phone screen.

"Right…" Red mused with a sarcastic grin. Purple stifled a laugh. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Excuse me, my Tallest," Zim said, getting out of his chair. "I have to get that. I'll be right back!"

"All right, Zim," Purple replied sardonically. As soon as Zim turned his back, the computer screen went black.

The doorbell rang again. Gir, Zim's crazy robot helper, screamed and ran into the kitchen. Zim stomped his way to the front door in a black wig and contacts that looked like human eyes. He answered the door, muttering, "What is it THIS time, Dib?"

To Zim's surprise, it wasn't his sworn enemy. Instead, it was a tall, thin young lady with purple hair and a fuchsia suit. "Good afternoon, young man," she greeted cheerfully. "Are your parents hoooome?"

"NO!" Zim slammed the door. The strange lady followed him inside, calling out in a saccharine voice, "My goodness! You're all alone in here! Well, young man, you'll have to come with me…" Before Zim could comment, the lady forced him into a large sack and ran off with him. Gir came back out and started breakdancing in the center of the room.

Sometime later, Zim tore out of the bag, yelling, "What is the meaning of this? Who DARES to put ZIM in a stinky EARTH-BAG full of Earth –" He caught a glimpse of a black-haired boy in a black trench coat and a blue shirt with a gray face on it. The boy was chained next to his scary sister. Within moments, Zim was facing him, finger extended.

"YOU!" Zim shrieked. "You did this to me, didn't you, you EARTH-SCUM! You – you – DIB!"

Dib glared at Zim. "If I did this to you, why would SHE be here?" He pointed to Gaz, who was engrossed in a video game.

"LIAR!" Zim screamed. Suddenly, the strange lady came and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him down to an empty chair next to some freaky-looking kid.

"You stay right here," she cooed as she chained both his legs to the chair. She walked away to go reprimand a green-haired boy in a maroon T-shirt. Zim sat there in stunned silence.

"I've been here 16 times," the freaky-looking kid piped up. Zim turned to face him.

"So, this is NORMAL?" Zim demanded. "This is what NORMAL Earth-monkeys DO on a regular basis?"

The kid loomed over Zim menacingly. "No one is normal heeere…" He laughed maniacally.

Meanwhile, Dib tried to escape from his bondage. "Gaz, do you know why we're here?" She didn't answer. Dib turned to a little girl who walked by. "Do you know why we're–"

"GAAAAAH!" She screamed a Gir-like scream and ran.

Suddenly, the strange lady approached Dib, unlocking his chains. "Your new MOMMY is here!"

"'New mommy'?" he repeated. The lady led him away.

"Don't do anything weird," Gaz called after him, still busy playing her video game.

Dib was led to another lady with a bandage on her forehead. "Hello," she quipped. "I'll be your foster mother until further notice."

Dib's eyes widened. "Oh NOOOO!"

Back in Zim's little area, the green alien-boy was trying to keep himself sane by uttering pseudo-swears at Earth's expense.

"The fancy lady gives me presents at Christmastime," the kid next to Zim said randomly.

"If the Dib-monkey didn't send me here," Zim mused, "then who did?" Just then, as if answering his question, the strange lady came to unshackle him. "Come with me, young man," she cooed.

"'Young man'? I am no 'Young man'! I am ZIM!"

"I like tacos," the freaky-looking kid responded.

That night, Dib was locked in a tiny room furnished only with a bunk bed, a dresser, and a cracked mirror. That had to be the worst night of his life – he missed an all-new episode of "Mysterious Mysteries," he had been banned from conducting paranormal research, he had been separated from his family without even the chance to say goodbye…things couldn't get much worse for Dib if Zim himself showed up as his roommate. Before he could finish his "things can't get any worse" notion, his foster mother stepped into the room. "Oh yeah, you have a new brother," she mentioned. She turned and called for the boy.

"Please don't let it be Zim," Dib prayed frantically, "Please don't let it be Zim… Please don't let it be Zim…"

It was Zim.

"All right, Zim," Dib said contemptuously after five minutes of adjusting to the shock. "Here are the rules." He felt a minor sense of superiority to the Invader for being incarcerated longer, despite that period being a leeway of eight hours.

"What makes you think YOU get to make the rules?" Zim demanded.

"I've been here longer."

"Yeah? Well I'M her NOW, and I say…" Zim fished around for a command. "I get the top bunk!" With that, he shoved Dib out of the way and scrambled up to the top bed. Dib, too tired and upset to argue, climbed into the bottom bed and tried not to think about being imprisoned with his mortal enemy.

The next morning was bad for Dib, but that nightmare was multiplied by twenty for Zim. He was unable to eat the Earth food provided, so his only option was to starve. Unfortunately, according to the rules of "The Agency," as the foster mother called it, going without nourishment was a big no-no. "I must call the social worker!" she cried. She grabbed Zim by the arm and dragged him to the nearby telephone. "You'll have to be MOVED!"

"If Zim gets moved to another home," Dib said aloud to himself, "I won't be around to watch him. And if I'm not around to watch him…Earth will be DOOMED!"

Zim came back, looking confused. "They say I'll be MOVED in two weeks. What can this MEAN?" He glanced over at Dib, who glared back at him evilly. "YOU MISERABLE HUMAN!" Zim screamed. "This is more of YOUR doing, isn't it!" He stepped up to Dib with intent to harm. "ISN'T IIIIT!"

"Hey Zim, I didn't cook the food, so – "

"By the way," the foster mother interrupted, "You two have to cook dinner tonight."

Dib sighed. Zim shook his head in disbelief. There was no denying that they'd hit rock bottom.

Somewhere further away, Gaz sat indifferently on a plastic-covered couch playing her video game. For some bizarre reason, Gir was there (not even in disguise!), jumping around and screeching, "WOOOO-HOOOOO!"

Gaz began to get angry. "I am trying to kill evil vampire piggies," she growled, glancing away from her game and giving Gir the evil eye, "and your WEIRDNESS is distracting me!" At that, Gir plopped down on the floor and began crying loudly.

A random fat lady entered the room. "That does it. I'm sending you back to your real home."

"HOME!" exclaimed Gir. "I gotta go tell my Master!" He ran into the kitchen and into a wall.

Night fell softly upon the house where Zim and Dib were staying. Zim lay awake on the top bunk of the bed, muttering angrily about his predicament.

"That DOES it!" he exclaimed. "Nobody does this to the mighty ZIM!" Those stinking humans will FEEL THE WRATH of my FOOT!"

"Shut up, Zim," Dib called from below. "I'm trying to sleep here."

Zim abruptly got out of bed and began to pry open the window. Dib sat up, hitting his head on the bottom of the top bed. "What're you doing?" he called after Zim, who had managed to open the window and get his foot out.

"You can stay in this STINK-HOUSE if you want, but I'M leaving." He climbed out the window.

Dib got out of bed and went to the window. "I can't let him escape," he thought aloud. "If he leaves, I won't have control over him anymore – and he'll destroy Earth!" He stuck his giant head out the window. "Zim, get back here or I'll tell!"

Zim turned around. "NEVER!"

"Fine then." Dib climbed out the window. "I'm coming with." He ran up to where Zim was standing.

"Whatever," Zim reluctantly agreed. They started across the large backyard. They came across a huge chain-link fence topped with barbed wire.

Dib took a step back. "After you, Zim."

The alien in question glared disputatiously at his rival. "You think you can FOOL the mighty ZIM? Stupid, stinking HUMAN! ZIM will not fall for your stupid, stinking TRICKERY!"

"Fine then, I'll go first." Dib took a step toward the fence.

"NOOO!" Zim announced. "I'll escape before you!" With that, he grabbed the fence with both hands, receiving a moderate electric shock that set off a distant alarm. "Curse you, DIB!" His fake wig was fried, one of his contacts had fallen out, and steam quickly rose from his garments.

"AHA!" Dib pointed a finger at Zim. "You ARE an alien!" Just then, a large group of attack dogs came out of nowhere to attack the escapees.

"I don't have time for this," Zim snapped, unleashing his spider legs and stepping over the fence to…

"AARRRRGH!"

He fell into a pit.

Six hours and fifty adhesive medical strips later, Zim (in his miraculously restored human disguise) and Dib stood up against a wall in The Agency office. A grotesquely obese man with a tiny clipboard approached them. "You two must be moved – IMMEDIATELY!"

"You stink, Zim," Dib muttered.

The next day, the two of them were placed in their new foster home – with Professor Membrane as their new foster parent.

"WAAAHOOO!" Gir squealed with delight. "Master and Big Head are my new brothers!"

The End…?

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I meant no offense by this story, or any of my others. Most of the events in this fic were based on real-life experience; the others were merely Zim-world creations.

animeninjaNIPPON


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